Sunday, November 7, 2010

Cultivating Happiness in Friendship

Not everyone you meet is an enemy, you may meet a brainless scarecrow, a heartless tin man, a cowardly lion on the way, but the girl in red shoes will form and hold a relation, bonding everyone together with a little work. Relationships hold many shocking and exhilarating mysteries and there are many different types of relationships, but they all have a similar goal. The goal that everyone wants is to form a strong, loving, and blissful relationship, but there is no perfect relationship. There is always something that can be worked on to bring more happiness into a relationship. Anne Becker states in her article that, “If you become super happy, there are forces that will bring you back to a more average level [of happiness]" and that is something no one want in their relationship (Becker). A relationship that is universal to everyone is friendship and it is necessary to cultivate the connection holding the friendship together so it will grow.
          One factor to cultivate a happier friendship is by spending more time together. Most people start from elementary school then to middle school then to high school to college and so forth making more and more friends. As you move on in life keeping in touch with all the friend's you've made is important. Having friends but not interacting with them does not make them your friends, it only makes them your classmates, or co-workers, or just a person you meet and nothing more. But by interacting with them and communicating with them more, makes them your friend. Some friendship click and some never work out, but once a friend always a friend if the friendship is cultivated.  Being around your companions makes you happier, "[spending] meaningful time with friends… [is] necessary" (Shahar 111). How else would you keep a friend then spending meaningful time with them. Friends are there for a reason, a reason to hang out together, go to the mall, watch a movie, have lunch, play sports, and much more. In my own circumstance, my friends and I hold a small Christmas gathering every year. It is a way to catch up on what everyone is happening in everyone's life and to spend time together. There is always laughter and it ends with hugs and kisses. It is different for everyone, but this is how friendships stick like glue.  
          Another way to improve the happiness in friendship is to get to be known for what kind of friend you really are. Friends are there to help and care for one another. Why make friends if you are afraid to share your core-self with them, your inner characteristic that makes up who you are. They are there so you can share exciting events with them, both good news and bad news. Making a friend at first may seem hard but keeping a friend is harder. People of all ages start out by introducing themselves to new people and then start forming friendship bonds. What comes after is the harder part but at the same time it strengthens the friendship. Getting known is not always an easy step, like in an educational environment. There are always groups that people form, they put themselves in similar groups, or with people who are like themselves and that is one way of making friends and getting known. Others may start to get known by,  "…[discussing]…[working] in groups of four to six, even just once a week, understood material better and felt more engaged with their classes" not only does this help them in their school work, or other work, it is a way to get recognized (Zernike). It is a way to get out of the shadows and make friendships that would last a long time. To keep a good and joyful relationship for a long time is to let them, "[understand] [you] values, passions, concerns, and hopes" and for you to understand theirs' too (Shahar 120).
          One of the most important things in a friendship is to accept friends for who they are. In some situations, there are people who may befriend someone for their wealth, or fame, or popularity, or for some kind of benefits, but then that is not real friendship. There will be no happiness in a type of friendship which you’re only in it for some sort of gain. Real friends are the ones who are, "willing to step in and take your keys when they think you have had too much to drink. These are the types of friends that challenge us and help us grow" (TheHappyRock). Everyone may have a friend that they dislike whether they talk too much,  pick their nose, say things at the wrong moment, or is very forgetful, but that is who they are so, "accept your friends, quirks and all, and recognize when they need a little help too. Because you never know when you'll need them around to rescue you from some flying monkeys" (Beliefnet).
          Friendship like any other types of relationships could be made easily and broken effortlessly, but as long as people nurture their friendship it would last forever. Not only would it last, but everyone would be a bit happier. When friendships are form there is, "loyalty, forgiveness, honesty and dedication" (TheHappyRock). The friendship will form its own characteristics bringing happiness to friends. Everyone must work hard in keeping that tie within their friendship. Like happiness that everyone desire, friendship is also necessary in life. With a little work there will always be happiness in friendship lasting eternally.

Total Words: 925

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